Still on track…just!

only one way to go!

Good afternoon everyone…just sitting out in the garden with a nice cup of coffee, enjoying the fresh air and appreciating what`s left of our fairly dismal Scottish summer as I put together this week’s ramblings. It`s been a busy week at work but have still managed to keep up with the walking…that box is ticked anyways. Bit of a blip though because I have hurt my back and that has meant that I have not been able to do anything else exercise wise apart from walking…it`s just too painful (boo!)

I never have any problems with my back normally so the fact that I can hardly get out of bed the past few mornings is hitting me hard… the pain and stiffness seems to settle as the day wears on if I take some painkillers but it`s still sore enough to prevent me from tackling my fitness DVD and the housework for that matter (what a shame!)

On a more positive note the scales are still moving in the right direction. I am now in the fourteens…slow and steady progress is definitely being made which is fantastic. I am still on track weight-wise which is good and I have lost another inch from my waist and hips.

As you know I had my first 2ml fill last week but to tell you the truth I am actually hungrier and feeling less restriction than I was before it…go figure that one?

 I have been managing to eat pretty much anything, including foods I had problems with just a week or so ago. I have definitely been relying on willpower more than the band for the past few weeks which is pretty hard but achievable. I am just so scared that I undo some of my good work by cheating that I`ve put up with the hunger pangs and kept to my daily budget of 1000 calorie’s.

bit of an up and down week

I know I could be doing with another fill but the problem is that I have not been able to get an appointment as the clinic is apparently fully booked…grrrr! When I phoned up on Friday morning (17th September) I was told the first free appointment was on Monday 11th October…over 3 weeks away!

I am flying a few days later so was not overly keen to make an appointment for a fill so near my holiday…scared in case my band is too tight when I am out of the country and I am unwell with it… a potential nightmare!

This would have meant that it would be nearer the end of October before I could realistically have my band tightened…nearly 5 weeks of hunger and pure willpower to endure…not why I had the operation I can tell you!

The Nuffield advised me to wait for a cancellation but I was pretty irritated as I thought they could have fitted me in sooner than that considering I am at the stage where a fair bit of tweaking is needed to gain sufficient restriction.

Some better news this morning though…I phoned the hospital again and they can now fit me in a week earlier on the 4th October…would have preferred this week but at least that gives me some time to make sure all is well before I hit the beach and only 2 weeks of hunger to put up with.

Maybe I am expecting too much…who knows? I think part of my frustration this week is with myself actually. I am going abroad in just over three weeks and still feel too fat to confidently bare my bod on the beach. It was a fairly last minute decision to go away really and although I am really looking forward to the break I just wish I was slimmer because I know I am going to still feel a tad self-conscious. The rational part of my brain says to get over myself but the self-critical, negative part is still working its old magic and bringing me down some days.

I know that I need to stop doing this to myself but it`s not easy to change habits of a lifetime overnight.

…Just hope I can fit into some of my holiday clothes as well. This time last year I was about 16lbs lighter and a dress size smaller than I am today. Everything is still a bit nippy but I still have 3 weeks before departure…realistically I could lose another 7lbs by then if I keep up the good work so here’s hoping. At least it`s giving me something to aim for in the short term while I am struggling with poor restriction and a sore back.

why now???

Sorry if I sound like a bit of a moaner today folks…just having a bad day and putting it down on paper helps me stay focussed and away from the fridge (haha!)

No-one said any of this was going to be a walk in the park…I know this.

…. guess the trick is just to keep walking even if somedays the hill feels really steep!

…till next time my friends.

Lorna xx

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” — Unknown

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About Lorna Pitt

Hi everyone... I am on the cusp of a new life.....hopefully a happier, healthier, fitter new life. Come with me and follow my journey as I take my life back...one pound at a time! ps....its happening!!! xx xx
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4 Responses to Still on track…just!

  1. lose4life says:

    Lorna
    You are where I was a few weeks ago. Luckily I can get into my Doctor within a few days. I too was going out of the country, so I chose to wait until I got back to get my fill. I am glad that I did. There is nothing worse than additional stress on a holiday. I am happy you got in for an appointment, I’ve heard that in this process you sometimes need to be the squeaky wheel to get in…as long as you are reasonable…which I think you are.

    BTW, where are you going?

    • Lorna Pitt says:

      Hi there LFL, thanks for the support. Its annoying to have to wait for a fill when I need one now but I guess I can handle it for now. Have been follwing your blog and you sound like your doing great….whats the hair loss thing about though and how far down the line after banding did it start?
      Off to Northern Spain and hope to visit Barcelona and Girona.
      Lorna x

  2. curlywurly says:

    Hi lorna, I completely sympathise, I am in exactly the same boat. I was told that first fill would be in week 4, in reality its not going to take place till week 7, am really gutted, especially as I haven’t felt any restriction since about week 3. I’ve been trying to rely on willpower, which has never been my greatest trait! I’m on solids now and hungry most of the time, plus my blood sugars are all over the place, so in truth i’ve been happier! weight loss has stopped and in truth I expect to put some back on before the fill in 9 days. feeling quite negative but expect that i’ll feel more positive once the fill is done and I actually feel like I have had a band fitted, at the moment if it wasn’t for the scars I would swear blind it wasn’t there! While you don’t sound as upbeat as in previous posts, I can still sense your steely determination! Have a great holiday x

    • Lorna Pitt says:

      Hey CW great to hear from you! Sorry to hear your struggling a bit though…
      I have been hungry alot of the time over the past week or so as well and its definately taking a fair bit of willpower to stay on track. You know it`s weird because I was thinking the same as you the other day…if I didnt have the scars I could easily forget that I have been banded…seems to be the norm at this stage though. I think that it can take a few fills to get the right restriction. Just a tad annoying when you have to wait weeks for an appointment.
      Must be so much harder for you having to cope with your diabetes at the same time. I struggle a bit some days without having that additional pressure of managing blood sugars so I take my hat off to you.
      Hows the exercise going? I know you were struggling with it a bit the other week. I`m waliking everyday now for between one and two hours. I really enjoy it and its extra calories in the bank for the odd treat or glass of wine 😉
      Last week I managed about 35 miles. I think its the thought of the holiday thats keeping me motivated for now.
      Stay positive hon and good luck for your fill xx

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