Hey guys…I`m shrinking!
I stood on the scales today and have now lost one stone and 9lbs or 23lbs since my heaviest weight at the end of July. My waist has now shrunk by a massive 5 inches and I`ve needed to buy a smaller bra…Yes!
….have been struggling with a few hunger pangs over the weekend at work but I stuck with the programme and did not eat more than my self-imposed limit of 1000 calories per day.
As I am back at work now (and working shifts) it`s a bit more tricky with regards to planning meals but on the whole no real problems or overwhelming temptations! I could have very easily cheated because I felt hungry but I was strict with myself and didn’t.
…when you are in the right place mentally (which I am now) eating less and making balanced choices is SO much easier. Before banding I felt like I was totally out of control…comfort eating for the sake of eating most of the time as well as eating all the wrong things at the wrong times…I felt the fight had gone out of me…like I had lost the war never mind the battle!
…when you feel fat and miserable with no-where to turn self-harming with food is very often the only comfort left…sad but true.
Now with my new buddy Brigadier Band on board I feel like I am gaining strength and ground daily…charging ahead and slaying some of those pesky demons which have haunted me for so long. I feel like I am in command again and that feels great. It`s now full steam ahead and go, go, go team band!
Seriously though guy`s and this is important….this whole process is as much about getting your head in the right place as it is about the band itself. The way I look at it is…why would I put myself through fairly major surgery (and all the risks that it entailed) AND spend all that money to kid myself on and cheat/eat the wrong stuff.
It is hard at times but my goals are set and they can be achieved (yikes)…it`s down to ME though from now on. I am very aware that I am responsible for my own actions and making balanced choices. Feeling empowered helps big time.
This is where the exercise/balance/consequence thing comes in…its OK to have a treat but there is a definite trade-off to be negotiated because the band won’t work on its own long term.
Last week for example at Millport…It was about 5`oclock and I was starving as I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Me and the boy had walked into town and headed down to the harbour. The smell of fish and chips filled the salty, seaside air and I was drooling at the mouth. I was thinking OMG I so want some of that!
After thinking about it (for about 5 seconds) I thought I CAN have a treat!
Now folks the old Lorna would have had the whole shebang…2 fish, chips, coke etc. The new Lorna`s thoughts were…right ok…you have walked the four miles into town instead of getting the bus (400calories), you can have one fish minus the chips (couldn’t have ate all that anyhoo) and now you can walk the 4 miles back (another 400calories) to make up for it.
…So I had my fish and it`s was absolutely delicious…took me about 20 minutes to eat it but boy did it hit the spot…I didn’t feel guilty or like a diet leper and to top it all off I had burnt off more calories than I had eaten…result!
On Monday afternoon I had my first follow up appointment with Mr Galloway and all is going to plan…pretty much textbook styli. He is very happy with my progress and told me that I am looking really well (charmer).
…Can actually start to see some changes myself. My face is looking slimmer (not so bloated) and my skin has improved big-time. The jersey top I am wearing today is loose. Before surgery it was tight.
I wasn`t expecting it but I had my first fill too…just a small one (2mls) as I have been more hungry this week. It was painless and the nurses that did it were lovely. Afterwards I was a bit nervous about what to expect but I have been fine…can`t actually feel any discernable difference to tell you the truth.
I am now managing to eat pretty much anything as long as I chew it really well and take my time. I still get the occasional sharp wee reminder from my silicone friend though if I eat too fast or don’t chew enough.
After my appointment and fill I had physio/circuits with Bethany. Before the sweaty bit she gave us a 45 minute presentation on reasons to exercise and goal setting. We discussed where we wanted to be both in the long and short term with regards to fitness and how we were going to achieve the end results.
For me anyway this is going to be so, so important if I am to lose the weight AND keep it off.
Looking back to the more recent past this is where I have gone wrong…
Just 2 years ago I managed to lose 5 stones but succeed in putting the lot back on because I didn’t do any exercise. As soon as I lost the weight I fell back into my tried and tested bad habits and surprise, surprise guys so did my belly!
Pre-fat days (up to the age of 35) I was size 10-12, fit and toned. Although I ate plenty I exercised daily…you do the math!
This is not up for negotiation and it`s a bit scary if I`m honest. It`s going to take commitment and determination. I just hope I don’t let myself down again.
My short term goals are:
1. Walk 4-5 miles at least 3 times a week.
2. Do a fitness video for 30 minutes in the house at least twice a week.
3. Feel confident enough to get back into the pool and start swimming again once a week (I used to swim 3-4 miles a week).
4. Lose 2 more stones and get into a size 14-16 party frock for Christmas.
Long Term Goals….scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Exercise for an hour 5-6 x a week and get some tone/definition back.
2. Build my stamina and swimming up so that I am fit enough to take part in the Millport to Largs 3 mile outdoor swim next year.
3. Take part in the 26 mile Edinburgh moonwalk for breast cancer.
4. Get down to and maintain a weight of 10 stones.
5. Get into my old favourite 30 inch waist Levi 501 jeans (which incidentally don’t even go over my knees just now)
Ooft…that was difficult!! Thinking about this and putting it down on paper is hard. I don’t want to set myself up to fail but maybe, just maybe with all you lovely people behind me I might just get there!
Till next time….
“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.”