insanity and beyond…

 ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ Albert Einstein

……. Well if that’s the case then how do I get out of the Asylum? 

Like anyone who is seriously overweight, I didn’t get to where I am today by NOT dieting…..in fact I worked it out that I have lost and gained over 11 stone in the past 3 years alone!  I won`t bore you with all the details but suffice to say I am a serial dieter and I`ve tried everything from Atkins to Xenical! 

an alternative to gastric band perhaps!

  I know I can lose weight when I put my mind to it so why the hell can`t I keep it off? There must be something anomalous in my psyche that kicks in allowing me to destroy all my hard work, self-esteem and inner happiness. Why am I repeatedly pressing some kind of self-destruct button inside myself? I hate being fat and I hate myself even more for allowing things to get to this stage….. It`s like being a child and building a beautiful sandcastle that took you all afternoon to make only for some enormous bully to kick it down and laugh in your face!

It hurts! 

Its only when you realise that things HAVE to change can change begin to take place in psyche. A different result requires a different path. 

 `No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path` Buddha 

Golden Girl!

 I am humiliated and gutted that I have allowed myself to get to the point where I look in the mirror and think…..who`s that obese middle aged person looking back at me? If I catch my reflection in a mirror say while out shopping I physically wince inside. I feel like I am a thin person trapped inside a Mr Blobby suit. I`m suffocating. Being this size REALLY gets me down. I mean down to the point where I cry about it and don’t do out unless I have to. It`s getting me down to the point where I have lost sight of who I am and have lost sight of my future. My mojo is buried under a 3 inch layer of blubber. 

 I know a lot of you out there feel the same to a lesser or greater extent. It`s sapped the very life out of me. I want the old me back. 

I`m ready for change…I`ve reached the bottom. 

For me this band is hope. It’s a new beginning and a chance to reset the self-destruct button to zero.  

Lorna xx

Advertisements

About Lorna Pitt

Hi everyone... I am on the cusp of a new life.....hopefully a happier, healthier, fitter new life. Come with me and follow my journey as I take my life back...one pound at a time! ps....its happening!!! xx xx
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s